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What Can You Do With A Hansgruberchuck?

by Deaf Steever

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about

After his 1929 recording "Head Busted Open Blues" went nowhere and was quickly forgotten, Deaf Steever vanished into obscurity. Surprisingly, he reappeared in 1935 with a song called "What Can You Do With A Hansgruberchuck?" It was more vaudeville than blues and was a complete departure from "Head Busted Open Blues". Music scholars claim that Hansgruberchuck was a puppet troll that Deaf Steever owned. For unknown reasons, he felt it was an evil puppet and he subjected it to daily abuse. In fact, the only verified photo of Deaf Steever shows Hansgruberchuck and only part of Deaf Steever's arm (see track image).

Why Deaf Steever felt the need to warn people about a puppet is a mystery which will likely never be solved. Fortunately, the only known 78 record copy of "What Can You Do With A Hansgruberchuck?" was found in February of 2020 at the same location as the "Head Busted Open Blues" 78 disc. Deaf Steever never really enjoyed any musical success, but evidently he had at least one fan who bought his records....

lyrics

What can you do with a Hansgruberchuck
If you should find you cross his path one day?
Well, you should do what I say to
Because who knows what he'll do to you?

He's just an ugly troll named Hansgruberchuck
His evil was rightly locked up in a cage
So what can you do?
Well, that's up to you
But I have a few things to say

You can smack him in the jaw
You can punch him in the face
Run him over with a car
Then stab him in the brain
Well, with a homely troll like Hansgruberchuck
There are so many things you can do

Now throw him at the wall
Then kick him in the head
Stuff him in a drawer
Make sure he's dead
Well, with an ugly troll like Hansgruberchuck
There are so many things you need to do

Oh well, what can you do with a Hansgruberchuck
If you should find you cross his path one day?
Well, you should do what I say to
Because who knows what he'll do to you?

Well, darling, what can I say about Hansgruberchuck?
He really deserves a beating every day
Well, here's what you do
It's not up to you
You've really got to beat him
You have got to mistreat him
You have got to really make him pay!

credits

released February 22, 2020
Music, lyrics & performance: S. Falk

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all rights reserved

tags

about

Deaf Steever Winnipeg, Manitoba

I try to come up with ideas and riffs that catch my ear, and then I piece 'em together until something (hopefully) slightly catchy and coherent emerges. I reckon that sums up my approach to songwriting. :-)

"Well, sir, I just make it sound like I think it ought to." - Mississippi John Hurt, when asked how he created his songs.

Cheers from Winnipeg, Canada, y'all! Go, Jets, go!!!
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